For Better or For Best: Understand Your Husband by Gary Smalley

After a spat with my husband over nothing in particular, I was walking through a small town and happened into a thrift store where I found this book. “Aha!” I thought. “This book will solve my problems!” Amazing, isn’t it, how we’re willing to suspend logic, given the possibility of an easy answer?

I skimmed my way through the book, skipping ahead to the chapter I thought would be most helpful. Perhaps it was, in that it told me nothing I didn’t know and was a good reminder that I needed to buck up and admit my part of the blame in our fight. Those moments of realization are never enjoyable, but what follows certainly is. J

Ah, yes, about the book. Written in 1979 by a man, the intended audience is, obviously, women. Noting the inherent conflict of interests this might bring up, I plunged in anyway, and found the book not only quaint, but downright funny in places. I found this dated little list in a chapter entitled, “How To Increase You Husband’s Desire To Spend Quality Time With You.”

1. Be attentive to his concerns when he comes home.
2. Look as attractive as possible when he comes home.
3. Prepare appetizing meals.
4. Show interest and ask questions about his job, activities, problems, achievements.
5. Listen attentively by focusing your eyes on him.
6. Don’t make him compete with the TV, the dishes, or even the children when he’s trying to talk to you.

Pretty cute, isn’t it? I especially love the modifier, “when he comes home.” Curtis and I found the list incredibly unhelpful, and decided to make our own. I’ll post that in another blog, but in the meantime, I would love your additions to it. Please leave a comment with a suggestion, and I’ll make a new list.